Honestly, after the stress and anxiety from the last few years of trying to save my marriage, it really feels good to just relax and decompress with nothing going on.
I don't think WH is involved with OW anymore. I have no proof of that, but it's just the feeling I get because his attitude and treatment of me have dramatically changed for the better. The fog seems to have lifted and he's told me he wishes he hadn't messed things up with us and that things could be the way they used to be. And unlike before, his actions seem to match his words consistently.
Reconciliation? I don't know. As I mentioned earlier in this thread, I think his behavior is a pattern. I do believe he loves me in his own messed up way, and that he means what he promises when he promises it. But I'm not so certain he has the integrity to walk the walk when it matters. I'm not interested in giving him another bullet to shoot me with just because he wasn't successful at killing me this time. Is it possible this situation was brutal enough that he's truly motivated to change? Maybe. But real change is hard and takes time. Right now, I'm not looking for anything from anyone. Life is good, I'm really happy, and I'm content to wait and see what the future holds when it gets here.
What you write about your ambivalence about R resonates with me. I posed the question to myself early on whether H would be able to love me the way I wanted, even as I change my approach and perspective. Though I'm here, DBing, I often feel that I'm Just kidding myself and that I actually fear being alone and losing my family more than losing my H.
What you write about your ambivalence about R resonates with me. I posed the question to myself early on whether H would be able to love me the way I wanted, even as I change my approach and perspective. Though I'm here, DBing, I often feel that I'm Just kidding myself and that I actually fear being alone and losing my family more than losing my H.
Losing the family is the hardest part, I think. Especially when there is a lot of history. How long were you married?
Originally Posted By: forgump
2.5 years past the separation... you're not interested in meeting someone new who would be a good partner?
In my humble opinion, I think there is a difference between being interested and actively seeking something out. I'm definitely open to something good coming into my life, but I'm just not out there looking around corners to find it because so many other things are already consuming my time and attention.
I'm definitely open to something good coming into my life, but I'm just not out there looking around corners to find it because so many other things are already consuming my time and attention.
Sort of wanting it to come to you but not you to it?
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
