Good to hear you're okay and the serious illnesses were ruled out. I'm sorry to read about your h's actions and words. You certainly didn't deserve that. So ridiculous! Good for you for not putting up with it. Maybe he got so upset because he knows he was wrong and/or feels guilty but in typical MLC fashion they lash out. I was recently upset about W not calling but was reminded by everyone here not to have any expectations. I know it must be even harder with a 13yo. My kids are young enough I can distract them etc. when they ask about it. Sadly they've gotten more used to it.
I think your mom is right about you protecting yourself. We have to for the kids and our own well-being. It's hard to feel compassion for someone who hurts us so badly. I've found those LBS feelings, wax and wane, sometimes by the minute.
