Gump, great to hear from you! Twenty minutes as opposed to two minutes in the microwave! Come on, you know I have noooo patience at all!!
Journaling: so things seem to be going okay with H. He is coming over consistently twice a week and in between that I am not contacting him unless he contacts me first which he is doing now. I realise I can be quite controlling and it's my insecurity and lack of confidence which makes me feel that way but I'm working on those areas. I've also learned my lesson that pushing him to do what I want only makes him angry so that's when I get the 'I'm not coming back' speech.
The only trouble though is for some reason, before he comes over, I start to get very anxious, sometimes angry as well. I can feel myself spiralling into a ball of emotions but when he is here all those bad emotions go away and I usually have a nice time. I'm also getting used to him going back to his flat at the end of the night and I don't have that panicky feeling anymore although I'd love for him to stay....
As for GAL. I'm working out like mad at the moment. Not only do I go to the gym three times a week I am doing an exercise DVD at home three times a week too. It's helping me to sleep and eat better and I don't find myself sitting around in the evening ruminating because I don't have time to. D even said I look fab and is very jealous of my figure at the moment!
IDK, what is going go happen with me and H. Myself and D are making our home as comfortable as possible and making his time with us enjoyable. I'm hoping that he will miss us when he goes back to his flat but I realise that he is still not himself so it may be some time. But I know I am luckier than most on here in that I can have a good relationship with H even though it's not the type I want.
I know I've got to move my focus on to my D for the next few months as she has important exams coming up. It will be interesting to see if he makes more of an effort when I pull back a bit... Patience, patience....
Me - 47 H - 45 D-16 M - 6 years Separated - May 16
Don't leave me behind can't you see me I'm shining... (Years & Years - 'Shine')
