Sotto's tootling along

[Sotto]

Thank you Rouky, Bttrfly and Job...xx

Yes, it is good to have a trip to look forward to and it was one of my goals for this year - and also, I'll be 50 this winter, so it's good to push the boat out a little...

I've dialled back a little on social activities in the past few weeks. Am I in a bit of a funk? Maybe. I'm a little anxious about this new project which will really gather steam this week. The start got delayed and that was a bit frustrating. I guess I'm just prioritising that at the moment and I only have so much energy and mental energy to go around..

Sometimes I put myself in the position of being 'social organiser' and then others look to me to organise things (fair enough on their part) but then I get busy and start to feel a bit resentful. Something to watch out for and my fault for always stepping in to offer.

I guess I'm also mourning the loss of NG at work's phone number and our bits and bobs of texting, which have stopped completely (I went cold turkey. ) So, again I guess that contact buoyed me a little and now it is gone. I don't feel the situation with him is hopeless - but (for whatever reason) he doesn't come forward just now and that's okay. I'm not yet a year out from D just yet (May) and that's another goal - no dating until at least a year.

I still find I ruminate sometimes about XH. Like the whole thing was pretty astonishing how our nice life together completely imploded and the horrid way it all happened. I guess I still suffer from a touch of PTSD type symptoms and though I have read a lot about MLC, there's a difference between 'knowing' what you know and truly healing and moving on from it all.

So, a bit of a mixed time but generally okay and I'm looking forward to the Spring months just ahead - always my favourite time of year. Anyway, thanks for reading - even though I have nothing to say. Oops, almost completely forgot to mention XH - no news of any sort there...xxx