Feeling Lost 3

[srt]

thought I'd update this for anyone who is still reading, mainly because I'm struggling a bit again and find sometimes getting it down on paper (or UBB) can be theraputic.

Firstly no change in sitch, W does not really interact any more, must say I don't really want to, feel physically sick most of the time she is around.
I now also know just how much she has lied about all sorts of things, this is really hurting me, as now I know I was not crazy, and she really did try and dump a whole load of blame on me at counselling which I now know was pure shame and guilt.
100% sure she met with EA OM, possibly physical too, this makes me feel sick, especially with REPEATED denials.

To move my sitch on I am pursuing legal steps to secure financials. Mentally I thought I had moved on but keep thinking of my kids and they do not deserve this. I want my family to be complete, but don't want my W the way she is.

Keep thinking I'm ready for dating but know deep down I'm not. Not sure how or when this will change, but I know I need legals sorted first before I even go there.

Just can't make any sense of everything, and it seems to keep on hurting.

My GAL activities are v well established, and circle of friends is wider and stronger. Just didn't realise or appreciate how deep an effect all of this would have on me, and the utter callous and selfish way W could behave.
Trying to keep being an example for D&S in how to conduct themselves and show them lots of love.