Gordie: Pulling it all together 2

[Gordie]

Cali,

Thanks for the reminder that my generosity will not win her back. I do want to be generous but do not want to do something stupid. I think the core problem is that we will both need to make financial sacrifices--she will and I will--and that doesn't match up with her fantasy.

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I think my new friendly neighbor mindset has been helpful. It makes me realize that my expectations were previously way too high--more than zero. I say hello and goodbye when coming and going and can ask how was your day and not be offended if she gives me a one word response or doesn't ask me how my day was. I can sit in another room and not feel guilty. If she wants me she knows where to find me and it actually has made her initiate more contact. She still wants to play family--dinners, church, etc. She says we'll still do those things after D but Instesd of stressing about the future as I have been I feel like we can cross that bridge when we come to it. W met with her lawyer last week and wants to talk about it. Again, Im trying not to stress out about that. I'll listen and be calm and not commit to anything without thinking it through with counsel as appropriate. She has also significantly scaled back asking me to do things for her, not sure if that is a good or a bad thing.