She moved out, filed, but I'm still working Pt. 5

[ccgrrl]

Hi SBJ..
Just catching up on all of this. It really is so interesting to me how important it is to your W (and my H, by the way) to be able to "legally" date. I think maybe they are so caught up in their own distress that they feel the only thing that will make them feel better is someone else, someone who ideally does not know their history or who they were in the past, so they can just create a new persona and never deal with their issues.

It's so strange to me, because even though there are times that I waver and think about just letting the D happen, it's never because I want to see other people. In fact, I'm pretty sure I would not be interested in dating anyone for at least a year after a D because it takes time to grieve the loss of a relationship before you jump into a new one.

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. You are not alone, clearly. I think it's so much harder in this limbo period, where you're still married but separated and NOT divorced, because you can't really move on and you don't have the comfort, love, and security you had before BD. You must picture life as a divorced person, even if that's not how it ends up, just to get some sense of control in your life.