Working on a Trial Separation Agreement with MLC H

[ccgrrl]

Update - In MC we talked about the way I was feeling taken advantage of and he seemed to get it. When we were home later, he told me he felt like he was having a heart attach - I don't know if that was him starting to regret his choice, or if it was just a fleeting moment. Either way, I think I feel stronger and less scared than him, ironically.

He moved out today while the kids were at school. He's only going a couple of miles away and it's temporary because he's staying in a house that is only available for 4 months, but still, it is a little weird.

I did my first grocery shopping for the week as a 3-person family. My H had all sorts of food issues, so it was so strange to go and be able to buy so many things we haven't eaten in years. There was a novelty to that, but I did feel sad and anxious.

Anyway, he has the kids for the afternoon and then they'll be home. They will sleep over his place for the first time this weekend, so I've arranged to do something fun with a gal pal, but it is going to be extremely odd going to sleep in a house with no other people in it after all these years...

Part of me wants to shove all his stuff in the spare room and redo the whole house, but I am holding back so the kids will not feel like their entire world has shifted the way mine has.

Trying to focus on some work projects I have and getting our tax information ready for the accountant. My IC, whom I dropped already, told me it was good to focus on the things I did have control over, to keep from getting sucked into a never-ending obsession with what I think he should be doing or what I'm afraid will happen, etc. That was the only good advice she gave me, I think. For now, no more IC for me. H says he may be dropping his IC as well. We'll stay with the MC through this 4-month "trial separation," seeing her every 2 weeks until we feel like we don't need to, I guess.