I've read and re-read the thread on detaching, but I need to go back and read it again. It has been very difficult for me to do it. I have moments where I can turn my back to it all and others where my mind starts spinning.
When you wrote that he is "under the illusion that once he will be divorced, life is going to be wonderful." And I have seen this sentiment repeated on this site and on others. I believe it in my head. It makes logical sense, but I am having trouble fully embracing it. I don't know what is stopping me. I feel like if could fully accept this in my heart and in my head, then it would be easier for me to detach.
What is hard for me to understand and perhaps accept is the fact that his mind is twisted. I know I am depressed over the situation so I question my perceptions and judgment. Some of it has to do with his gaslighting.
The other part of it is how sure he is of himself and his decisions. He left his laptop out last night and I snooped. I found some emails he sent her professing his profound love for her and his certainty that one day they will be married.
When I read them, I think that I haven't got a chance. I am Sisyphus. I won't get anywhere. It all feels so hopeless. He is so certain of his feelings.
How does one stand in the face of that?
Last edited by job; 02/03/1711:04 AM. Reason: Added spacing between paragraphs
