Ex wife has met someone else

[Dawgs]

Excile,

I'm sorry that you are here. It's not an easy place to be but you'll find great support. This place has helped me immeasurably.

I have been hoping that because I got on well with my ex W, that we could have started dating again soon and hopefully reconciling at some point in the future.

This sticks with me because I had originally thought the same thing. The thing to remember is that its ok to hold a place, but don't pin your hopes on it. I'll use my oft-said road analogy here - you and your ex are on two different roads. The unfortunate thing, is that your ex's road doesn't have room for you - just her. And where hers leads her is entirely up to her. You, on the other hand, can have room on yours for her, but just know that she may never travel it - your road is for you. You may not be able to see yours now, but its there. Just do the best you can for you.

I discovered last night that she has started dating another man. She says that she needs to have a life too and doesn't want to mope around anymore. She tried to ask me if I was dating anyone, almost to try and minimise her guilt and she then called me later in the evening asking me how I felt?

This is one of the toughest, most bitter pill you will ever have to swallow. To know that an ex is dating is tough. Mine is. I hated it, but its out of my hands. Nor, really do I care anymore what she does as long as it has no affect on the kids. If you don't have to, don't talk to her anymore about this. And, don't concentrate on what she is/isn't doing. She's not your concern anymore. Tough times, my friend.

We used to go out as a family with the kids to try and maintain some stability and I thought we were friendly. She wants to continue this occasionally but I have said no as I can't see how it would work. I also need to let her go now but feel that it's going to be difficult for me to deal with my emotions if I see her.

Kids bring an additional hardship into this. My advice, going out as a "family" after divorce to bring some sort of stability brings nothing but hurt and confusion for the kids. Some may feel differently, though. But to go out and make it seem like its all OK, then don't. Just don't.

now but what should I do in the short term

Do things for you and the kids. What hobbies do you have? Find one that requires concentration and immerse yourself in it. For me, I love going to the gym - weights, hitting the bag, etc. You'll find that exercise is the single best anti-depressant there it. Hang in there. You'll be fine.