Gordie: Pulling it all together 2

[Gordie]

Short update, don't have time for a longer one.

First, after the feedback from Rose, Cali and ForGump and others, I realized I was letting my W's freak-out affect how I was feeling and acting. So mid-week, I changed course and turned into the friendly, steady neighbor and, as per Hawho's example, treated my W as a houseguest (polite, but nothing intimate--I now wave and say hello and goodbye instead of hugging and kissing). The result was she started acting much more normally, making small talk with me, looking me in the eye, etc. Team, thanks for the help!

Second, and more importantly, W talked to me about proceeding with separation and divorce last night. She accused me of two things which weren't true (1) dragging my feet and (2) being greedy. I was definitely agitated, but kept it together to calmly point out that (1) I gave her everything she needed to file and she's been sitting on it for a month and (2) I am giving her the most important things she asked for (don't want to go into details) which is way, way more than is suggested by the law. She also asked again that we tell the kids and I move out before finalizing the settlement and I held my ground that I didn't want to tell the kids or move out before we had a settlement. She said okay. And at the end of this discussion? She gave me a hug, which was totally unexpected.

Here's what I didn't say: I think she thinks I am being greedy because she is now starting to realize that when you split one person's salary in two--there is less for both H and W! I have tried to tell her this before, but she hasn't acknowledged it. Now that the reality of it is sinking in, it's because I am being greedy.