Maybe now but you weren't before the second time. That's why she distrusts you. I understand why she feels like the D is what she needs but in the end it doesn't solve anything. All she's doing is running away and that resentment for you is going to turn to anger and hatred. What are some ways you can be a safe place for her?
Adultery is a very, very difficult pill to swallow. For some, they could never trust that person again. Some adopt the attitude of looking the other way as long as they have their husband/wife - which is a very unhealthy thing to do. And the fact that it was done a second time lends people to follow the "burned once, burned twice" routine.
This is the time for you to become the absolute best person you can. Not for her or in hopes of winning her back, but for your own self. Fair winds and following seas, my friend.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
