I always say that a nanny or housekeeper after my son was born would have saved our marriage. I was awful post partum. I really really resented my husband at that time. I think there was little he could do because I was just so hormonal. Just keep being understanding and forgiving and empathetic. Get the right marriage counseling. Dont give up. Dont give in to resentment. The above advice is spot on. It will get better.
My brother and his wife went through a similar situation as you almost 4 years ago. They each mourned in their own way and it certainly was/is not easy. My nephew was absolutely beautiful and I think about him all the time. Your donation to the hospital with the sale of flowers is incredible.
Best of luck in getting through these painful times. You both sound like wonderful people and parents.
