Hi well during the last year I have been detaching as much as I could I pretty much left my W to do what she wanted to do I gave her as much space as I could I tried to do more with our children we co parented. We got along but nothing was talked about everything was brushed under the carpet We sleep in separate rooms and there is no intamacy between us I have been more hands on with our children . I do read lots of posts here and I can honestly say that the reason my marriage broke down and failed was because in my wife's mind I did not do enough for her and for our children and at time I did let her down this is true I have been out this evening with my W and we ended up having a very long conversation and it ultimately comes down to a build up of resentment and she does not feel she can trust me ever again so will not work on repairing anything she now wants to live in separate houses does not believe she can ever trust men again. She said the only two men in her life have both let her down her father and then me and she sees living in separate houses as the way she might end up happy again, she said that if she does not end up happy then she is in no worse position then she is right now as right now she is not happy living with me any longer.
So I am here trying to face that we will live apart we have had the house valued and soon we will be instructing an estate agent. She wants half the value of the house and we each share the children's care with neither of us paying any maintaince to each other. Her view is our children should not suffer and if I am in a stronger financial position then I would still support our children by provding money to her and if I was in a worse financial position then she would give me money for our children. I do know my W and she is not money grabbing never has been even just the mention of this caused her to break down cry and say is this really how little you know me. For her it is not about the money and I know you will say it will be but she never has been and I really do not believe she would change.
