Gordie: Pulling it all together 2

[Gordie]

***OM is important in all of this. You cannot be seen as accepting of this. As cadet tells many you need to say you will not be in a R with her if there is another person. In your case, this may not be necessary as she has told you her stance and she wants other man.***

I've told her I don't want to be in a three way relationship. At first she told me that's what she wanted (bomb drop request for cake eating), but now think she wants a clear break from me...

***This is important for several reasons. Firstly any turn around will take longer. Much longer. Secondly how you react affects her opinion of you. It is not what she thinks immediately (as likely to be negative regardless) but what she thinks when she looks back on how you treated her in this crisis. Waiting her out is not enough. OM could fall away and that does not mean you will reconcile. That is why he isn't your focus. Is your moving to mlc forum a sign you want to wait her out? I am curious not critical.***

I moved to MLC because I found the MLC advice more relevant to my situation. I loved all the advice in newcomers, but some of it just didn't seem to fit my situation. I also recognized my W in more of the MLC threads and see this, as Caliguy said, a long game...waiting her out? Yes, in terms of waiting out her MLC...even through separation or divorce.

***Your W's hardening as you put it has been five days. Expect it to last and to worsen. I had planned sharing how I supported my checked out W all this time but first I would like to know how YOU see YOUR stance going forward?***

I am still in love with and committed to my W...despite her craziness...and still believe in my vows of for better or worse...until death do us part. I know she is hurting (and I am partly to blame for that) and that she is also in fantasy land. I have no interest in dating or being with other women...I only love and want my W...not to mention to raise my kids in an intact family...