You are right, you cannot force your wife to take you back. For that matter, what wife would want to take you back if you're not sure you find her attractive, and you don't really feel motivated to have sex with her? Your wife is saying she is done, because she done with respect to the kind of husband you WERE. If you became someone better, that gives her a whole new question to ponder.
It seems to me, the biggest question you have to find the answer to is what YOU want. What kind of a person YOU want to be. What kind of a woman YOU want to be with. What kind of a romantic/sexual relationship you want to be in. I believe once you know what you want, the rest will follow.
I mean, many of us come here because our spouses are being highly unreasonable: "walk-away", "wayward," and/or "mid-life crisis." So far, based on what you told us, your wife isn't going through any of those. She seems pretty reasonable. So, the ball is really in your court.
Which is a really enviable position to be in.
Me: 50, MLC/WW 45 Young kids Nov 2015: BD1 Apr 2016: BD2 Jan 2017: W filed Feb 2017: D final
