FG -- that will be the scene, or something very like it, in your new home many, many times. Yes, they won't be there every day, but there also won't be that silent, judging and rejecting presence there every day, either. In time, there will be a loving, supportive presence that wants to make you know you matter and are loved.

Life is and will be beautiful. It is a testament to your qualities that you still find joy in that moment you describe. What is your W feeling in that moment? Would you change places with that emptiness, or isn't it better to have a full heart, even if it is heavy?

Me: 46
W: 44
Married: 17
Together 21
D13; S10
BD: 03.03.15 (Not attracted to you)
Almost 2 years trying, alone, to save marriage
Status now: Divorced (effective 06.13.17)