Help - Setting Boundaries, WW in EA - Thread #3

[sandi2]

Duct tape you mouth closed, b/c it is your worst enemy at the moment. You must stop engaging in arguments. It takes two people to argue. Don't hang around and take her spew. Why would you let someone berate you? Get the heck out of Dodge.

Woke, you need to stop telling her you love her. That's basic DBing101. Stop telling her you don't want a divorce, etc. She gets it. And when she throws around the ILY'S and gives a hug once in a while.......it means nothing. Those are her manipulation tools to keep you in the spot you are currently experiencing. Do not believe anything she says.......and that includes "ILY, I'm going to end things with OM", etc. You look at her actions! She is not acting like a woman who is planning to end her A. She is getting more space and private time away from her H......not closer.

She is still calling the shots in your house. As long as she is in supreme reign, the dynamics will cotinue to get worse. At the moment, you need to stop trying to change things by talking to her. Stop going from one extreme to the other. You go from ice to hot words, and she can play the game better than you. She as already told you twice how things would be if it were you having an A.

When I was engaged in an A, I got busted by my grown D. She was not angry or acting judgemental, but sadly said, "You know you would not put up with Dad treating you that way....not for one second". And.....she was correct, and I knew I would have left or kicked him out in a flash, if the situation was reversed. Just like your WW knows what she would do, too. I think those basic personality differences (for lack of a better word) have a lot to do with what separates the LBH and WW....and the dynamics in their MR. Yes, she knows she is treating you like cr@p, and she knows she would never stand for you to treat her the way she is treating you! Every single wayward woman has that mentality,b/c it comes from her own arrogance and disrespect.