I thought about moving myself over to the MLC forum, but I think this may be my last thread, so I'll keep it here. My W is very likely having a MLC but, unlike some brave people over in the MLC forum, I don't plan on waiting 3.5 years, etc., for my W to return. A big part of this is that I believe my W's MLC is mixed with and fueled by a moderate degree of BPD, which is a lifelong condition. It's not so much that I can't live with her BPD -- I have, and I had come to terms with it and was at a rather peaceful, happy place in my life before she dropped the bomb. I just don't think the odds are very good for me, and I don't have the emotional strength to DB for 3.5 years, or anything close to it, to find out. It's the uncertainty that kills me. If someone said wait 3.5 years and your love will return, I would wait.
As I was spending my evening with my family, I was seized by the urge to remember, to record in my mind, everything about that moment; because it was to be one of the last few evenings together like that. It was like this:
I came through the front door and said Hellooo and I hear my D saying Hi Daddy, then the light thuds of the footsteps of my S (the younger one), trotting around the corner and up to me to give me a hug. He had been waiting to play a game with me. W sitting at the dining table, working on her stuff, no greeting, not even a look. I play w/ my S, then made some chips & guacamole, and gave a serving to my W, then took another serving over to my S to share with. After that, I made a pot of wild rice to go w/ some leftover chicken my W had baked last night. At the dinner table, we all talk, the W even talks to me, and there is laughter and the kids are happy. D goes off to watch some TV, and S is still munching on watermelon, standing next to Mom. Suddenly head fills with tears, a sadness not linked to any particular words. I wrap my arms around my boy, place my head in the small crook of his neck and hold back the tears. I just hear watermelon being munched away.
Me: 50, MLC/WW 45 Young kids Nov 2015: BD1 Apr 2016: BD2 Jan 2017: W filed Feb 2017: D final
