Job, Rose, Pax, Fighton, Bttrfly and Ciluzen - thanks for the kind congratulatory posts! It was so nice to receive those.
Bttrfly and Ciluzen - I actively had been hunting for a new job. I actually loved my last job. Until I was assigned to a new manager who was like a character out of Mad Men circa the 1955 episodes.
It was unreal. We were a small start-up and he wanted me to send his emails for him! (At the time, I was the only woman working in the company except for 2 other women in upper management to whom he reported.) He thought that since I lacked a penis, I should fix his coffee and call his wife to tell her when he'd be home. (And NO, none of this was in my job description. And he's not Amish, either, in case you're trying to give him the benefit of the doubt as to why his fingers can't touch a computer.)
Anyway, I had plenty of my own emails to send! When I told my old boss all this, I told her I was not "Joan" from Mad Men and she died laughing and said she'd talk to him. I think he was trying to pull a fast one.
Like that wasn't enough, he was passive aggressive to boot. And he was stretching various rules that made me very uncomfortable.
The new job is really nice! The work is better and the people are wonderful. I am back to having a wonderful boss; phfew!! They operate with a fundamental courtesy that was lacking in my last environment. 3 days in and no one has asked me to fluff his seat cushion for him so that's a good sign. Once again I look forward to work and that is a huge relief. You cannot work for a person you do not respect. It's not possible.
The bad news is anger has re-surfaced in h and I am on day 3 of receiving total silent treatment. He wouldn't even be in the same room with me until today when he was in the room but only talked to the kids.
I have been doing a lot of reading on silent treatment. I knew it was a severe PA behavior and a method of control where you tell someone that you determine their "worthiness" or lackthereof by ignoring him/her.
I brought it on myself as I lost my patience. I said something unkind. It was true and yet, not something I should have said as there are many things that are true and yet should be left unsaid.
S11 hurt his ankle at a game and was in a lot of pain. Of course this all happened the night before my new job. I asked h if he would take s11 for an X-Ray in the AM if it was worse. He told me s11 should go to school as h always went to school no matter what. (Yessss, we should do things just as his mother did as that turned out soooo well.) I told him s was in pain and teachers are not nurses. H got so mad and told me I should quit MY job and stay home and take care of the kids all day?!? I assume this is some sort of crazy conversation he's having with his neglectful mom.
It was just so unattractive. I can take a lot but it's just a huge turn off to see a man who does not want to care for his kids. And I was confused about where were. Is this 2017 for you or 1976?
So I said a very unkind thing. I told him he was a fraction of the man I married. Awful, I know. Bad DBing. I was just so angry and frustrated. So tired of the weirdness.
The moment I left his room I heard my cell phone alert me to a new text message. I didn't have to think long and hard about who sent it. And yep, it was from h. He swore at me (!), told me not to come to his room again and to keep my crazy opinions to myself. (He never swears and now once last month and once this month.)
And ever since then, he refuses to acknowledge me.
