Hugs, Gump! The road we travel is bumpy. I hope it gets smoother. I'm sorry you hurt. Those good days will eventually come more often - with less bad days. I have to keep telling myself this too. I know it's true - it's just not always easy getting through the bad days.
Jeep and Gordie - I know my H and can tell you his reasons. His family is all about appearances. So, if my kids and I don't get put out on the street - well that looks better for him. Yeah, he moved on, but he took care of his family - what a good guy. The other reason is he could just walk away. Whatever "mess" is left isn't his responsibility anymore. Example - if a pipe is leaking - not his issue. He could leave everything and I could just be his free storage facility. This was our fight this morning so I know where his head is at.
As for what I want.... not sure it matters. I want to keep my house. If I could refi - then I would be able to do it, but only because of child support at this point. But my budget would be super tight. All those extra's my kids are used to would be completely out the window. This is part of what I am finding so hard about this entire thing. My kids are going to suffer. I hate that.
May would be 20 years, Gordie. In my state - alimony is half the length of time of marriage. There's no way for him to complete it before because it's a 4 month process after I've been served - start to finish unless one of us drags it out. However, I'm not sure I'll ask for alimony. He's offered to give me the equity from the house. so if I keep it - then I'll let him off the hook. If I have to sell it, then this may be crass, but I'll take everything I can get considering most of the equity will go to the realtor. I'm angry now.
M:41 H:43 T:26yrs M:19 yrs S:15 D1:14 D2:9 Living together but separated
