Gordie: Pulling it all together 2

[Gordie]

Dang, it's been five days since my W's hardening and my non-pursuit/LRT. It does feel like she is ignoring me and I am ignoring her. How does this help things? Is my non-pursuit/ignoring/LRT just more of the same for us...and what I did to contribute to the death of our M in the first place? I feel like I am in a panic.

I re-read the section of when nothing is working, as that is where I feel I am. One of the reasons MWD gives of why it's not working is that when some spouses decide the M is over (my fear after the last incident with POM), it is and there's nothing the LBS can do about it. Her advice is you can't mind read and know if that is your situation and keep trying things until you just can't anymore.

She also suggests looking for signs of hope, so here are the only ones I can come up with over the past 48 hours: (1) W's unsolicited compliment on one of my GAL activities, and (2) W's initiating physical contact by asking me for a massage (this after a day when she didn't want to be any more than three feet from me).

God, help me. I'm really, really desperate (hopefully, I'm not showing it).