I hate to be a negative Nelly. I think to think of myself as more realistic. My point here is I am going to heed a warning. Your H has been going from one extreme to another really quickly. one day he says he wants a divorce and feels nothing and almost the very next he is ML to you and telling you that he loves you and wants the M to work. he is doing all the "right " things right now which is great I am sure. But I know you know to keep your expectations low. He's been flip flopping pretty easily.
I think you have studied and done this DB thing quite well. But you let him back in super easy with a right word or gesture. Then you crash along with him when he flip-flops again. Then you get angry he isn't remorseful. I am curious why you do let him back in so easily the second he says the right things. I mean, I think I know why, because you want nothing more than for the marriage to work and you feel like maybe if you told him no until he worked and proved he was committed, and he said no, you would in some way feel like it was your fault if you didn't let him back in the second you wanted him back in.
You are so dead set on him feeling remorse, but why aren't you dead set on him doing what it takes to show you he means it this time? He'll keep walking in and out of that door as long as he knows he can get back in so easily.
Yes, I know, I am a bubble burster. I am sorry for that. But I am honestly a little worried for you.
