kml, you asked all the right questions and I appreciate that. You sure know your stuff.
I seem to have lost all ability to judge just how a bad a situation is while I'm in the middle of it... sort of like turning the temperature up on the stove while sitting in the pot. Am I in a slow simmer? Is it boiling like nuts and I'm just looking around wondering why I'm having all these panic attacks in the middle of the night? Am I gas lighting myself because stbx has trained me so well over the past 20 years that I just spare him the effort and do it for him?
I feel paralyzed. I mean really paralyzed.
He has ALWAYS struggled with getting things done and having any general sense of responsibility so his behavior isn't worse now than it was before any of these dx.
I wouldn't win a fight for full custody and I don't even think that's what's best necessarily. Of course right now he's doing a great job of getting d9 to her extracurriculars... because we'll likely be meeting with a mediator soon and he knows that will come up. His M.O. though is to do REALLY well for a few weeks, maybe even a full month and then slowly decline using every excuse in the book. Then he decides that "she's not really into karate anymore so I'm not going to take her" or "she says she wants to quit piano, she's not learning anything anyway". Mark my words... in less than a month, that's where we'll be. But until then, he'll accuse me of doing everything in my power to keep her away from him.
I want to roll my eyes, cry, scream and throw a fit all at the same time... and yet none of that gets me anywhere while the water is boiling over.
Previously known as ss06 Kid: D9 M: 12 yrs together 18 D final: pending
"These mountains that you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb." - Najwa Zebian
