Well I feel that there has been some progress for my kid after my meeting at school, so I'm pleased about that.
Meeting with ex was comical because in front of our kids he didn't acknowledge me, nor did he made any eye contact throughout the time we were together. I looked beautiful and smiled a lot. Him, well he is still slim but has grown a beard (funny because he ate to spend more than two days without shaving), but what surprised me is how old his face looked. He is only 38 but he really looked old. Ok I could say 60 but I would be pushing it too far. Hahaha.
After the meeting I felt sad for about an hour but now I'm fine. There is definitely no physical attraction towards him, still have a soft spot for him but it's more nostalgia than anything else. Ex has made his choice, unfortunately I think he has let slip through his nest a good, kind, caring and loving person. Maybe he will realise, maybe he won't, but I'm in a such a better place than I have been for a long time, and I'm actually looking forward the future. I'm going dark with ex as it's the only way that I feel will help me to detach.
Youngest kid asked me if I love her dad I said yes because I do still love him but I also added that it would be impossible for us to be back together. She was puzzled, so she asked me again if I loved him and I said but as a friend.
Life still goes on for me. Don't know how I'm going to survive this weekend. Have a party at my place on Friday night, out with kids on Saturday all day then having some friends (that I haven't seen for ages as they moved away) for lunch on Sunday. I'm content with my life. No longer scared of being on my own forever as I like my own company and I have amazing friends.
