Listen to Cadet. You can't convince your W to come back with your words.

What did you do to contribute to the death of your M? What do you want to change about yourself? This is the only thing you can control.

You are in a lot of pain but you are not alone. Do you have a support system in place to help you besides the MC?

Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids
2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong
2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2
2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving