Soon to be divorced

[2chiquitos]

Be sure to take extra special care of yourself tonite.

[ForGump]

toi-- you seem defeated. Have you given up? Or are you going to try busting your divorce?

[toi]

toi-- you seem defeated. Have you given up? Or are you going to try busting your divorce?

i feel defeated . but i will follow the rules of engagement and focus on myself.
if things turn around which i dont think they will ,i will think about what to do then.

thank you fo your encouragement.

[Cadet]

So what are you going to do to work on yourself, do you have an appointment with a doctor?

Get blood work done and measure your testosterone, also you may need antidepressants

[ForGump]

toi-- you have a very specific problem in your marriage. It seems to me one of the most hopeful cases I've seen described here. Your wife wants you, and wants the marriage to work. Your wife is being very reasonable. The only barrier to it is you. Man, get yourself checked out, deal w/ your physical and psychological issues, and get your marriage back!

[Dawgs]

^ What he said. Solid advice.

[toi]

Unfortunately even my wife wants the marriage to work deep deep inside, she is nowhere near to reconcile.

ship has sailed.

as for me , im going to go see a thrapist today, i was already on a diet before hell broke loose so i'll stay on track . and go to the gym. for the time being.

i am doing a no contact thing at the moment where i havent talked to her since she moved out on the 28th january.

she did leave me a farewell letter . unfortunately if i know her well all symptoms point to "her not coming back here ever".

im going to keep doing all of the above till she wants to talk about filing divorce. i wont be contesting a divorce and make it harder for either of us.

[Dawgs]

Unfortunately even my wife wants the marriage to work deep deep inside, she is nowhere near to reconcile.

How do you know this?

unfortunately if i know her well all symptoms point to "her not coming back here ever".

Mine even said the same. When she's done, she's done. Sigh.

i wont be contesting a divorce and make it harder for either of us.

There is a difference between contesting and protecting yourself. Don't give in on important things in hopes of winning her back. That would be the biggest mistake of your life.

[ForGump]

toi !!!

Man... NOTHING has sailed. You can get your marriage back IF YOU WANT IT BACK.

You're right, she will NEVER come back to you, if you stay the same guy that she left.

Here's the question: do you want her back? Do you want her back bad enough to get your @ss in gear, and be the man she needed you to be? If yes, make your resolve, and do it. You have time. You can do it.

I'd pay a million bucks to be in your shoes.

[2chiquitos]

I would suggest weekly coffee. Maybe go silent for a couple weeks then call once a week and move on to weekly coffee then weekly dinner.

Slowly get back into her life where she can see your changes.

But then of course there needs to be changes. Changes that will stick and you dont revert when she reconciles.

So your homework. Dig deep and be a better you in all relationships. Practice w ur parents, siblings, etc.

May the force b w u!