Gordie: Pulling it all together 2

[Gordie]

***This is problematic with the MLCrs .... they have a fantasy all mapped out in their heads of how euphoric M should be. This is by definition Disillusionment and its one of the stages of a marriage when one realizes that their spouse may not have lived up to all those things one fantasized since they were little. Truth is ... NO ONE will live up to these things so either they accept this as truth, or they struggle with the lie they told themselves, and in a MLCr this fuels the "Why I can not be with you" campign they desperately try to convince themselves. You can not fix this, she must arrive at the place where she realizes she actually has it pretty good and you are in fact her # 1 choice. Stay the course but just know where this is coming from so it keeps you from spinning.***

This is great advice. Yes, I definitely feel like I am spinning. Yes, she keeps telling herself and me reasons why we have to D for her to be free. How can I show her I'm her #1 choice? Or I can't and just let her go through her MLC process, however long that takes?

***Again ... she has found this new inner person whom she is starting to listen to. Again more fuel on what she thinks she wants. Truth be told, I have not found many women who desire a submissive male .... not that they want a dominant A hold 24 7. Normally when BD hits a good number of guys turn submissive, pursue, beg and plead which makes them appear weak only making the MLCr/WAW run faster ... its not till he GAL, PMA, and 180's his way through that the WAW takes notice and starts to question her choice. I would not address this nor change it ... IMHO she may openly complain about it to you but I would bet dollars to donuts its something she finds attractive in your personality.***

Thanks. This too gets me spinning. And it's not just her inner person, it's her new friends who have these younger, submissive and disposable boyfriends.. There is no use in disagreeing or arguing about it, so I guess I just validate and drink the STFU smoothies, right?