Anyone check out MWD's new book released today? There's a whole chapter on sich like ours where the W/H continues the A - she seems to advocate softer boundaries but clearly state that the M is on "hold" or can't be worked on until the A is over - and then don't talk about it and continue to work on yourself.

Me: 40 W: 45
T: 13, M: 11
1 D: 9

Suspect A 6/15
ILBINILWY 8/15, and 3/16
EA/PA Discovered 3/16
EA admitted 3/16
W Moved out 4/16
W opens R talk and says A over 1/17