In the future, if you can do so, please link your threads. This will help others to follow your situation, as well as help you be able to go back to your previous threads. If your previous thread is locked, I will be happy to link on that particular thread for you.
I'm sure your eyes were opened very wide after reading about PA behaviors. It's very frustrating living w/someone who has this "learned behavior" from childhood. Yes, it can be considered emotional abuse because of the way they are around others. Gas lighting is another little tidbit that has come to light in recent years. That is considered emotional and also mental abuse as well.
The book entitled "The Emotionally Unavailable Man, isn't what the MLCer is right now. In fact, what the author is suggesting in that book isn't what we normally would do here. The MLCer is more like a child/teenager and has to grow up. In fact, if they don't want us around, they why should we do things for them? They have to learn and come to realize that life isn't a bed of roses and hopefully grow up in the process. Since we are dealing w/MLCers who tend to be bouncing all over the place and a majority of them have people waiting in the wings, would we even think of turning back the sheets or buying tickets for them?
If you haven't already read this particular thread, please do so. It might give you more food for thought:
However, I do agree w/one thing...don't make a habit of criticizing them all of the time. You don't want to come off as an authority figure, i.e., teacher, parent or some other adult. We do suggest calling them on some stuff at the time it's done, such as they way they are talking to you, etc.
He thinks he'll have time to spend w/his son...he's in la la land and could very well think his son will be right where he left him when he's finished his master's degree program. In reality, we know just how much time this program requires in the way of time, reading and writing papers...he doesn't have a clue. School could very well be his "drug" of choice to ease his pain and then he doesn't have to focus on his issues.
Last edited by job; 01/30/1702:27 PM. Reason: Added a link to another thread
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
