I hear what people are saying, I understand what makes it look like we have these positives, but I'm not feeling them. My wife started an affair over 2 years ago, she claims she stopped when she started having feelings for him, but I can see in all this time that she's liked every single one of his instagrams. There are so many inconsistencies and this feeling I get that it's really not over. I feel like she's breadcrumbing me and cake eating. The only things she's come clean about is the very least of what I had proof of.
I'm trying my best to keep it together but I'm not sure why. The bottom line is she had or is having an affair, she filed for divorce and she's told me that "in her heart of hearts" our marriage is over. We feel awkward around each other, I'm tired and lonely and ready to move on but I feel like it's a mistake because of not being really sure. I don't really know for sure that it's still going on or not. I keep hearing the words "don't believe 100% of what you hear" when it comes to her "heart of heart" statement among many other things I hear her say still in my head.
Maybe I just need to get these things out so I'm here typing them but I don't even know if this is the right thing for our kids. I'm unhappy and tired of them seeing me(us) unhappy. I'm afraid of what's behind door number 2 and think it's just going to be worse but I don't know that.
