I'm so sorry about your mom and also about your grandfather.. i don't believe it is your subconscious- i do believe those we love are with us. well, one of my dearest friends is a medium and quite amazing, so there's some context.
Jeep, we never know how much time anyone has. My mom is in remission from stage 4 cancer. I understand how you feel and it's a dreadful loop. The one thing I can tell you is the best thing to do is to live each day as fully as possible, leaving nothing unsaid or undone, and leave the rest up to God or the Universe or whatever you believe to be a Higher Power. The point is not to waste a moment we have now. xoxoxoxo sending prayers for you and your family and {{{{{hugs}}}}}}
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
It will teach them to fight like hell for what THEY believe in and that's an invaluable lesson to learn. Your children may not understand the lesson now, but they will as they get older and are able to judge the situation for themselves. I say this as a result of my own personal experiences growing up in a broken home.
I hope so. They are starting to show cracks, as my oldest talked about his mom. Ugh.
Thank you, I visit almost every day. Her chemo starts next week.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
This is a great time to practice keeping your serenity.
Serenity NOW! Great episode. And yes, I could use some.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
Jeep, we never know how much time anyone has. My mom is in remission from stage 4 cancer. I understand how you feel and it's a dreadful loop. The one thing I can tell you is the best thing to do is to live each day as fully as possible, leaving nothing unsaid or undone, and leave the rest up to God or the Universe or whatever you believe to be a Higher Power. The point is not to waste a moment we have now. xoxoxoxo sending prayers for you and your family and {{{{{hugs}}}}}}
Thank you so much for the kind words. I've been over there every day. It's tough. I have to pretend like this isn't real.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
So, this weekend was our hand-off weekend. She was quite the chatty cathy. Not sure where that came from, but joking, smiling, etc. And, she made sure to ask about my Mom and said that she was praying for her.
I know, just being nice. I'm tired of this fake bullshite. Really am. She's such a devious snake. Ugh.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
I'm so sorry, Jeep. The hits just keep coming. I feel you bending under the crushing weight of all the hurt and pain that you're enduring right now.
I pray that you find God's peace, my friend, however difficult it may seem right now. I think the first thing is to let go, if you can, the guilt of your grandfather's death. Similarly, you can't change the past with your mom. But you can do something in the present and that is to be present for her now. Make every day with her great, despite what the future might look like and what you're going through with the exW. Don't let the thoughts, anger and resentment of exW and how she did you wrong get in the way of the experience of being with your mom now.
Again, I'm so sorry for what you're going through. It is so.much. When I went through my first D, my father died around the same time after a bout with dementia, which taxed the family to the limit. It was an unbearable feeling of suffering, pain, and guilt. That was over a decade ago. You will get through it. Hugs, Jeep.
You are correct. If feels as if the weight is getting to be too much now. I'm not sure how to deal with it. But I will say this - this place has helped me, and posting in other's threads has been more help than anyone is aware of.
10, I'm not sure how to let go of the guilt surrounding my Grandfather. It's like it happened this morning. I still see it all. Outside of my Dad, he was a big factor in my life. I miss him. I spent a good bit of the weekend with Mom. Aside from being tired, to look at her you wouldn't really think. I'm struggling.
It's my kids that are keeping me in line. They are my rock.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
I'm sorry to hear this. It's so hard to deal with losing parents on top of all this. It adds to the emotional confusion too.
Just to share with you, when I found out about my Hs EA, it was very soon after my father had passed. So the A was going on while he was dying. The end of his life was a very hard time for me. I found out later that when my father died, he cut off all communication with her for several weeks. When I found about about the A, and that it was going on during his death, I didn't have the capacity to deal with it. I was grieving and the person I thought was my main support wasn't. It's hard not to cry just writing this.
So as you may know if you have read any of my sitch, my H has been back almost 2 years. ... We found out recently that his mother also has end stage Liver Cancer. She is wonderful and a wonderful grandmother. Her husband (my Hs father) did the exact same thing my H did just years before. He had an A with a mutual "friend," left his W for her, was severely depressed, and then ended it and came back to his wife. Now she is dying. I am just glad she is not alone right now.
So why do I share all this? I'm not sure. It just felt right. And to highlight that history has a way of repeating itself. But we as individuals have the power to change it. My mom divorced my dad when we were little. I think about this often. I think about what that would look like all the time. Will my M survive? Do I really want it to?
I can't go back and change any of this. If I could, you know what I would change? I would have been more present for my dad while he was dying. I was so distracted by my problems with H and sensing that something was off. And now, when I want to end my M, I don't let myself. I want to be present for him during the end of her life because I know how hard it is to lose a parent. I want her to feel safe that things are okay so she can die in peace. He is her oldest son. I think we each have the power to make good choices even when it feels hard.
I hope that you can make the best of your time with your mom and not let your issues with W take away from that. Because you won't be able to fix that later. This time is precious and if it's a year or a few months left, you can still show her your love. That will last forever.
Hugs, Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
