So what did I do instead? I tried something the DB coach suggested for me. I made her laugh which I never do. I told her about all the funny things that happened to me during my day. It definitely broke the ice and she let me give her a peck on the cheek when I left this morning which was a huge improvement over her actively avoiding my presence yesterday. Did I feel like we were sweeping something under the rug? Yes. Did I feel I created an emotional connection? Yes. Was it the right thing to do? I don't know.
Maybe I'll ask her about it later today or tonight using Rose's language if it feels right.
***
One of many things bothering me about my situation is my W sometimes admits we have a good M. But she wants a great and very different M. Our M is safe and boring and predictable and there are things she wants to do and be and explore that she can't if she is M.
Another relatedness issue I struggle with: W hints that all romantic R have a dominant and a submissive (and I'm not talking about sex). She no longer wants to be the submissive and doesn't think I can be the submissive so she needs a new romantic partner. What do you make of this R paradigm and how can I address this issue?
Hello Gordie,
Great job on doing something unexpected and making your wife laugh! Glad you felt an emotional connection. You asked if it was the right thing to do and that is a really good question to ask your DB Coach.
I agree with Rose regarding not asking your W about it tonight.
Please give me a call at 303-444-7004 when you want to schedule another session.
Cristy Resource Coordinator The Divorce Busting Center 303-444-7004
A Divorce Busting Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.
Email virginia@divorcebusting.com or 303-444-7004 for more information or to get started right away.
