I'm so sorry, Jeep. The hits just keep coming. I feel you bending under the crushing weight of all the hurt and pain that you're enduring right now.
I pray that you find God's peace, my friend, however difficult it may seem right now. I think the first thing is to let go, if you can, the guilt of your grandfather's death. Similarly, you can't change the past with your mom. But you can do something in the present and that is to be present for her now. Make every day with her great, despite what the future might look like and what you're going through with the exW. Don't let the thoughts, anger and resentment of exW and how she did you wrong get in the way of the experience of being with your mom now.
Again, I'm so sorry for what you're going through. It is so.much. When I went through my first D, my father died around the same time after a bout with dementia, which taxed the family to the limit. It was an unbearable feeling of suffering, pain, and guilt. That was over a decade ago. You will get through it. Hugs, Jeep.
