Gordie: Pulling it all together 2

[Gordie]

ForGump and Rose,

Thank you for the advice. I think I hesitated in bringing it up because it's what I usually do and it probably relates to POM. W gives me the silent treatment and I have to break the ice and get her to talk. I'm not a mind reader but I think what was bothering her was the three way interaction with POM and it always turns out badly when we discuss him. As FG indicated, maybe our interaction was reality again intruding on her fantasy.

So what did I do instead? I tried something the DB coach suggested for me. I made her laugh which I never do. I told her about all the funny things that happened to me during my day. It definitely broke the ice and she let me give her a peck on the cheek when I left this morning which was a huge improvement over her actively avoiding my presence yesterday. Did I feel like we were sweeping something under the rug? Yes. Did I feel I created an emotional connection? Yes. Was it the right thing to do? I don't know.

Maybe I'll ask her about it later today or tonight using Rose's language if it feels right.

***

One of many things bothering me about my situation is my W sometimes admits we have a good M. But she wants a great and very different M. Our M is safe and boring and predictable and there are things she wants to do and be and explore that she can't if she is M.

Another relatedness issue I struggle with: W hints that all romantic R have a dominant and a submissive (and I'm not talking about sex). She no longer wants to be the submissive and doesn't think I can be the submissive so she needs a new romantic partner. What do you make of this R paradigm and how can I address this issue?