I am struggling again to get myself moving

[ATPeace]

I am struggling again and I do not know if there is anyone that I can talk to

I feel physically sick at the thought of moving forward for the last Eighteen months since my wife has told me it was over not a day has passed that we have not chatted or interacted with each other I keep believing that I can do something that will fix something but then I realise that nothing is fixing anything

Today I have little work I could go to clear out my mothers house but that feels lonely doing it on my own I do not have close friends that I can call upon and just the thought of being there on my own upsets me

I could talk to my sister and my mum thy are my support network but I would rather be talking to my wife

I have to look for and apply for collage for my son in the country if I do not do this then he will not get offered a place

I am [censored] everything up big time and I will have nobody to blame except myself

I really do not know where to turn

It is not even about Love or my marriage it is about what to do for myself

Sorry to post here I just feel so alone

[JellyB]

Hey G!

You are never alone G. You know that when you post here, someone is always listening. We've all been scared like you about the unknown that is the future. We all had pictures in our heads about what our futures would look and feel like. We all thought they we would grow old with our spouses. Life just happened to all of us G. It whacked us upside the head and left us reeling.

Today is just a bad day on this crazy journey. You have come a long way G. Further than you possibly know. I remember you were determined not to grow and not to move forward. And you tolerated so much from many of us, who pushed and prodded you, who were angered and frustrated by you. But we all see something in you G. You keep showing up to fight another day, to inch yourself forward. We respect that in you G.

Let me make a promise to you, there will be some relief when the physical separation is done, when it is done, sadness but relief too. The anticipating it, is agony, but there is some strange relief. And with the relief and distance comes perspective. You can breathe again. You will stop holding your breath, stop anticipating every action. To get some of this relief, you have to do this bit. You have to step off into the unknown and just trust that the strength that got you here, will see you through whatever comes next.

And what if G, what if, what comes next is more than you could ever imagined for yourself, for your life. Can you step into that possibility, can you hold that hope for yourself. You have to try to find hope G.

I don't really post anymore. But please know, I am reading your posts and cheering you on to your milestone and next success.

There has been a lot of love expressed for you on this board over 18 months. Keep going G. You are climbing you everest and we want to see at the top. And we are here.Please hold hope.

Remember you are never alone. I am always listening. There is always someone here for you G.

Much Love G

JellyB xxxx

[Dawgs]

Sorry, Peace. It's sucktastic, for sure.

I feel physically sick at the thought of moving forward for the last Eighteen months since my wife has told me it was over not a day has passed that we have not chatted or interacted with each other I keep believing that I can do something that will fix something but then I realise that nothing is fixing anything

I know the feeling. I was sick for most of the time until divorce, too. Went from my normal, healthy weight to 20 lbs less...I just quit eating but still working out as hard, if not harder. Just quit eating.

I had some to talk to, but never did. I just keep things internal. This board has helped more than anyone knows.

I hate the alone feeling, too. We are here for you, brother.