Moored

[HaWho]

Thanks KYH, Fighton and Sotto. Good to hear from you all.

Oh, onward marches the obsession with aging. Here's a conversation h and I had recently. We are all in the kitchen together. I have a box of cereal out and I ask h if he wants some, too. H: I don't know (very Eeyore-like). Me (confused): you don't know if you want cereal?!? H (very serious): I am too old to make the decision.

He is quiet over here. I don't see any anger surfacing. But he seems very aware of the kids. He pays attention to where they are, when will they be home, etc. And he is parenting again with a new awareness. S13 is starting to test boundaries and thankfully h provides backup: determining when S13 needs to be home and backing me up when I set ground rules.

But here's an oddity. One night, before a bath, h asked if we had any goggles in the house! S11: "why do you need goggles for the bath?" H: "because I remember it being fun to look at the water with goggles." I hand him the goggles and he trots off to the tub, sloughing off s11's giggles.

I am helping s11 with homework and above us we can hear h in the tub! It sounds like we have a mermaid in there. S11 and I can't stop laughing at the noises as we imagine what else could produce those sounds.

Lately he is making "points." We were in the driveway about to head out in his car when I realized I had left my wallet in my car and my keys back in the house. I asked h if he could open my car so I could grab the wallet. He made a point of saying I was lucky he had the key to my car as he normally does not keep it on his chain. (And for a while I noticed he had removed it and assumed it was for his double life.) I guess the point he's making is: I am separated from you.

Then days ago we were in the car and h had made a cover of a song I happen to like. He probably knows I like it but he likes it, too. I told the boys I liked the song a lot. H must have thought I was fishing to see if the song was for me. Hah! He started to say that the ONLY reason he covered the song is because it happened to be tuned perfectly for this song and so he played it. Got it! You don't want me getting any ideas that you're thinking of me. I wanted to say: I know it's not for me because I am waaaay too old for you.

Other than that he is in his room. Yesterday, I wanted to go in there and scream: DUH! You are depressed!! Go get some meds.

As for me? I found a new, better job. I start tomorrow. I am nervous.