Ongoing...

[Sotto]

Hi RGB, I'm pleased to read you have been making progress and it does sound as though the grass isn't as green for your W as she had hoped. I agree there is no need for that text and you were on her mind and she chose to contact you. From what you write, it doesn't sound as though she has closed the door completely on the relationship.

As for you, from what you wrote I thought you sounded a little like a WAS yourself. I do think that happens sometimes - things go full cycle - the original WAS wants to reconcile, but the original LBS has moved on and isn't interested.

I would offer a couple of words of caution though. Firstly - the other woman - your BD was relatively recently and you guys had a long R and longish M. It takes a while to heal from all of that, so best remain really aware of that and my advice would be to stick to 'friends only' (and not the attractive single female kind) at least until you are D'd and for a while yet.

Also, your W doesn't sound to be in a great place and I understand your anger about what has happened. However, do try to accept that she is a flawed human being - as are we all - and dig for compassion. You guys are going to coparent for many years yet..

And finally, I don't think a decision (ie: not to reconcile) made so soon after BD is likely to be a reliable one. Strong emotions exist for a good while after a shattering experience like this. I think the best thing is to accept that may be how you feel today - and maybe this week - and next and maybe next month. However, allow yourself to feel what you feel for a good while yet before making big decisions would be my advice.

I imagine your M was one of the most important things in your life - as was mine - and it is natural to grieve the loss. In fact it would be surprising if it weren't the case...

Take care and accept it is still early days and keep moving forwards..