Well here I am looking forwards

[ATPeace]

Hello my friends

Well they say nothing moves unless you move and I have been very slow to move however things are slowly starting to move,in a direction

My W has been telling me for the past 18 months that she wants to be in separate houses but she has done very little about it and my two older children have been telling me that they want to move to a house in the country and we have lost that property once

This weekend I have been down to the country and have looked again at the country house and for my daughter and for my son they both love the property but I am still very scared that I will find my self alone, I guess it is the fear of being alone that is holding me back.

My W wants this she has told me time and time again so I have to give her what She wants

it is not about me making this decision to move in the hope that my wife changes her mind as this will not happen and I realise that once I start this process the cogs will keep turning

I still read what my W keeps posting on Facebook small little statuses and her posts ....remember you are the person you are because of all the [censored] that has happened in your life you are strong and the past is not your future .... show she and she has changed she is,not the same person that she was when we married a huge part of me just want to try and resolve things with my W but I am scared that she is getting further from me

So I am still very focused on what she does or what she does not do

Because I have said to her that the two older ones want me to go to Devon she will now start packing up the house and the house will go in the market this is not what I want but I do not know how I can get across to her that all I want is for our family to remain as a family and to start working to better things

I know I still sound like a broken record and that nothing sounds like it is getting sorted

But I am actually very close to finding myself in a house in Devon with two of my children with my wife living in Hertfordshire with my other two children

I know change is not always bad but thre is something about having the support from your partner when it comes to dealing with the children

I am not great at being alone

I am not great at making decision