I want to put a disclaimer up about my advice. I know you appreciate it and I am happy you can see it as something that helps. It's a culmination of stuff I learned since my own bomb drop 9 years ago, being on these boards for so long, and having my situation open up my eyes to the marriages around me over the years. When I say something, or point something out, I want it to be known it's not that I feel like if the person every changed this one thing, their marriages wouldn[t be where they are now. It's just knowledge shared that I think could make your life and situation a little better. Knowledge is power and I wish I had so much more as a very young married woman.
That being said, rose gave you some good advice on being aware of being condescending.
I do think she may have found that if you pointed out that YOu funded her, as condescending.
One more example is, and heck, I've been guilty of this.
You tell someone you want them to do what makes them happy and you tell them you will be supportive. But then you give the cold shoulder, or are less than happy about it when they do those things you told them to do in the first place.
Wife: Honey, if you are stressed, I think you should take a night out with the guys"
Husband: Thanks, I think I will
Wife: (husband made plans with guys) I've been alone with the kids all day, you are going ot go out TONIGHT?
