2017 - New year - same MLC but I'm moving along

[Irish M]

She is so insensitive..she acts like a child
never asking= only boasting
no regard for your feelings or the girls

Hi Peace

I's just unreal but everything about MLC is unreal.
I've honestly had enough. I thought I was detached from it but I guess I wasn't.

Now I can definitively say good riddance.

And I don't think it was I who was still attached to her. I think it was always the idea of my girls having this person as their mother that hurt me most. My hope she would wake up was for them at this point. Now that is even gone. My girls don't deserve a mother like this.
No concern for them, no interest in them, no real attempt to connect.

I wonder how she will feel when she realizes you are not available and can't get through to you
I think it is a good choice at this point-
let her know you are done playing games

She has that one access point available to her. But to be honest. If she was sane, wanting to connect to the girls. How hard is it to create a new facebook profile and message them, how hard is it to mail them a letter, drop something at the door, communicate with the school counselor and try to connect somehow. She has done not of that. I would have tried every possible measure to let the girls know i love them, miss them and respect them. She has failed on everything.

It's astounding how out in left field they are. hard to remember at times like these that it's an illness - theirs, not ours.

hi bttrfly xoxox your hugs are always welcome. Yes its astounding. I went through the stages of thinking maybe it was me and not her. Maybe i did drive her away, neglect her. etc But then I look at my notes, screen shots of her new facebook, her comments to the girls, her actions and I get the relief in knowing it is her. I did nothing to deserve this , the girls did even less. Her family history has repeated this behavior in 3 generations and has spread out to aunts and cousins of hers.

We all want to think that my MLCr will be different. My odds don't look good. So I am cashing in my chips and I am leaving the casino. Game over.

Looking back a few post I think you knew it was coming when you mentioned her bday coming up.

Reading what she said I couldn't help thinking she is seeing you and your Ds doing well and wants you to be as miserable as her.

Hi Kyh :-) thank you for your thoughts :-)

Yes its expected, birth dates, mothers day, xmas, new years, etc etc.. too many special dates. They must dread them.

I too believe she is miserable and has to put on the fake show to save face. She was a stubborn one before MLC, I don't see that trait changing any time soon. I mean she hid her sadness and depression from me for a year prior to BD,. So her talent of putting on the happy face is there.

To me, it sounds like she's trying to convince everyone and yes, even herself, that she's happy and has done the right thing. When people tend to brag like that, they are looking for validation and attention. Poor thing, she's miserable as the dickens and she truly wants attention for you and the girls. She, in her confused little mind, knows that she messed up big time.

Hi Job :-) We are doing fine. I'll add an update on my girls at the end of the post.

As for XW, Attention was so important to her. She needed it. Hope she enjoys the ride because when and if it all comes crashing down it will be bad. I don't want to be witness to it.

Not sure if she know she messes up. In November when she had her moment of clarity. I truly believe she did. In this state of mind. She did nothing wrong.

Silent follower here.
What is her need to tell you how happy she is without you?

That's an easy one. She isn't. People who are truly content and happy in their lives do not feel the need to continually blame and spew at the ones they believe were the cause of their unhappiness. People who are as happy as she says she is, wouldn't look back to what they claim makes them unhappy. No reason to go there if they are truly happy.

She is clearly one miserable sad woman. Any woman who does what she has done to her kids must need to believe something in order to go on.

Hi Ginger the silent follower :-) So happy you messaged me with your comment. I really feel that was her game. To seem happy and make me sad. Her saying that didn't affect me the way I think she wanted. It did the opposite.

I didn't feel an ounce of jealousy, or sadness that I am not part of her happy life. It actually made me flip a switch off. Off to her. How she can make such a remark knowing that she doesn't see her daughters and the longer she is in this tunnel the less chance of her having a normal relationship with them will be. I'm not even angry at her.. just done.

You let her push your buttons Irish - gotta get a little tougher. You took the bait. Don't do it next time.

Her text was a sad and very obvious attempt to make herself feel better. If her life was really so good, trust me, she would not have been texting you on her birthday.

If you want to be compassionate, just validate and move on.

Hi KMl :-)
this time not really. I've had enough of being compassionate and enough of being angry. I simply let her know, I'm not interested. Enough is enough and set the rules going forward.

I truly wish her luck.


Update , My D14 is scheduled finally to see the specialist on March 1.(no I will not update my XW) She can ask my family doctor, i gave her the number a few weeks back or message me.

D16 is graduating this year so I am starting the oh so important process of fining a graduation gown. Love being a Dad.

Not sure I will update as much but I will drop in on a few more of your own posts. So all you silent followers.. start posting your story. I promiss it will help you get through this.

last note. Job, thanks as always for being here. Editing my poorly positioned paragraphs and being a true support.