Me and Mildlife and...III

[lt0402]

CT, brother, I'm sorry you're having to deal with this mess. I honestly don't know how I'd handle my D speaking about AP, but I don't think it'd be too far off from how you are feeling. It's got to be rough.

There seem to be some things stacking together right now that are making things extra tough for you. AP may be right that taking some time for yourself would help immensely. As you're well aware, it's so easy to get lost in this thing that stepping out of it for a bit helps to get that balance and perspective back.

That may help get your focus back. Don't let your S saying the APs name ruin the time you're spending with him. There was a good book i was reading on compassion that discussed how to process and move through bad thoughts. It'll sound really stupid, but I've found it helpful at times, even if it sounds silly. Imagine a clear sky on a nice day. Imagine that the thought is a red bird in that clear sky. Alot of definition to it and it sticks out like a sore thumb. Focus on the bird (thought) and then imagine it just flying off out of the picture. Maybe when your S mentions AP, you give yourself a second to process the emotion then kick it over the horizon. Again, sounds really, really stupid but it's helped on this end w/ some of the bad stuff.

You are well equipped to handle this brother. You have been one of the folks that have been my rock through this. I know that you're moving in the right direction and down a path that's good for you. Hang in there and know that we're here for you.