Gordie: Pulling it all together 2

[Gordie]

***You did not pay for her, and you did not fund her. You both paid and funded you both funded her. She may not have earned an income, but with 5 children, your career most likely wouldn't have been successful and that money would have not been coming in if SHE wasn't caring for 5 kids full-time. So that money that funded her is hers as well as yours.***

Ginger, thank you for this truth dart. You are so right.

***The feeling of oppression that comes from being a SAHM is that they are made to feel like their husbands GIVE them money. They lose their feelings of independence because they are made to feel like they don't earn their own. FTR, I was the bread-winner. We both took a career switch at the same time when we were engaged and the bread-winning flip-flopped. So I am not even a SAHM saying this. but I have very close friends who have gone through this and I have seen it on here. for a 180, it might be a good idea not to ever mention that YOU funded her:)***

Thank you for your willingness to point that out. I wish I could talk to you IRL because I have so many questions for you and Rose, given how thoughtful your perspective has been in my situation and how you have helped me see my W's perspective.

I know, know, know that I have blind spots in my R with my W. The list of complaints that she has had about our R is long. At first, I was in complete denial, but as time passes and I have more time for reflection and the absorption of truth darts, I see more of the truth in her complaints and the idiocy of my denials.

So here's one I've been trying to see my W's perspective on but know I have a blind spot. A lot of W's (including mine) say their H's are condescending. When the W says that, what does that mean? I say it's a blind spot because I don't think I'm condescending, but if she's feeling it, then I must be doing something wrong.