How are you doing re detachment? Does her coldness affect you? Does it make you feel bad? Does it change your mood/behavior?
Sadly, she may also intentionally not be trying to get a job so that she can get more alimony from you.
Why did your DB coach say that? [that she won't pull the trigger]
What do the kids know? Have you told them yet?
I think this is going to happen to us too, but my W is in denial. The numbers just don't work.
I'd be lying if her coldness does not affect me. But I do a pretty good job of staying chipper when home, I think. I'm determined not to mirror her moods, and I want to stay a positive figure for the kids. When I'm alone, late at night or at work ... I'm more able to allow myself to feel depressed.
My W isn't that calculating (about alimony). She thinks ... more like an animal. She's a very intuitive, impulse-driven person. She's overwhelmed by anxiety, fear and guilt. Her not getting a job isn't because she wants to screw me.
The kids know something is up, but then it's been this way for 8 months, so they are OK w/ that stability for now. We have not talked to them about the impending divorce. We've deflected their questions about our sleeping arrangement.
The numbers ... yep. They just don't work for us either. But my W hasn't made life decisions based on numbers her entire life. She lets things hit rock bottom, then figures out what to do next.
Thanks for your thoughts, Gordie. I will be having a cold one in your honor after work today.
Me: 50, MLC/WW 45 Young kids Nov 2015: BD1 Apr 2016: BD2 Jan 2017: W filed Feb 2017: D final
