I think you are great. I follow along, and you really want to save your M and you are working hard at that But I want to point out one thing I keep reading in the introduction of the story. That can relate to your wife's complaints. it may seem small, but it is pretty impactful, and I can see it often, here, and in IRL.
"All of these changes made Gordie anxious, but he supported her, but not as much as he could have: he took a lot more responsibility for childcare on the weekends so that W could explore her new interests; HE paid for her to take classes and travel; and HE funded her new business"
You did not pay for her, and you did not fund her. You both paid and funded you both funded her. She may not have earned an income, but with 5 children, your career most likely wouldn't have been successful and that money would have not been coming in if SHE wasn't caring for 5 kids full-time. So that money that funded her is hers as well as yours.
The feeling of oppression that comes from being a SAHM is that they are made to feel like their husbands GIVE them money. They lose their feelings of independence because they are made to feel like they don't earn their own.
FTR, I was the bread-winner. We both took a career switch at the same time when we were engaged and the bread-winning flip-flopped. So I am not even a SAHM saying this. but I have very close friends who have gone through this and I have seen it on here.
for a 180, it might be a good idea not to ever mention that YOU funded her:)
