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My point exactly. ALL people have insufficiencies, but some choose to work on them, other cop out...

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Originally Posted By: Kaizen
In my opinion, I would rather spend my energy making sure that my partner doesnt have any desire or reason to cheat than restrict what they do to ensure that they wont have a opportunity to cheat.

Originally Posted By: Vapo
Your last paragraph implies that all of us that were cheated upon somehow caused it with insufficient effort to persuade our spouses to remain faithful...


Maybe I didnt say that right. That other person will do whatever they will do; I understand that. And of course, there is no doubt that I could get burned again; any of us here could. But Im not going to stop my future spouse from living their life due to my fears and insecurities. I have my boundaries and I will stick to them. But Im going to focus my energy into filling their love bucket rather than doing everything I can to make sure nobody else has a chance.



Anyway, I guess, back to Chris. At this time, I dont think its wise to probe too much into this trip. It may be with girlfriends. It may not be. In my mind, shes already fired you and you already know about OMs, so it doesnt make much difference. The question becomes what are your boundaries - what are your reactions.

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Well, the W only said the 5 day trip to Florida was with girl friends. What about the Presidents day weekend trip? Hmmm, conveniently not mentioned? Oh liars know how to tell the truth without telling all the truth. Just enough to make you go away.


Me:49 W:45
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EA confirmed and ended 8/2014
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Chris, are you still with us?


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
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Chris73 Offline OP
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Hi Everyone. I'm still around. Made some great progress over the weekend with my IC, my DB coach and ultimately my W. No time to relay the details because I'm 90 mins away from driving down to Atlantic City for the night. Planning to get some well-needed R&R at the pool and spa and come back "Fresh for February".

Looks like this thread is on page 10 so I'll start a new one with my next post...


M46 W48
M11 T14
S11 D8
BD: 2016/05/27
In-home separation: 2016/11/23
Nesting: 2017/06/11
W moves out: 2018/01/07
W goes public with OM: 2018/07/12
I ask for a divorce: 2018/12/14
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Me-70, D37,S36
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Chris73 Offline OP
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thanks Cadet!


M46 W48
M11 T14
S11 D8
BD: 2016/05/27
In-home separation: 2016/11/23
Nesting: 2017/06/11
W moves out: 2018/01/07
W goes public with OM: 2018/07/12
I ask for a divorce: 2018/12/14
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