Keep Wearing Wedding Band? [Thread #7]

[lt0402]

I try to have some perspective. I think about those young men speeding towards Omaha Beach on those Higgins boats. The gate flies open and bullets thud against the metal. I think I am lucky. I am OK. This nightmare of mine is a luxury enjoyed by someone living in a great place, at a great time in history. My kids will be OK, and I am going to be better from this point on, regardless of which way I fall.

FG, 100% this. We've all chatted about this being a good reality check for us before and it's excellent to keep us grounded. This is a good frame of mind to be in.

I'm tired. This has gone on for a very long time. With time, the prospect of losing my W hurts less. And the pain when I think about what it'll mean for the kids -- even that has lots its sharp edges. Now that pain just feels like a heavy, dense, black cloud in the middle of my chest. It no longer lacerates.

Brother, this is normal. From looking around at those who showed up here at the same time as us, it seems we're all in a similar spot with respect to the dulling of our emotions. I think the saving grace for all of us is Time. Add to that the greater understanding we now have of ourselves and how a R is supposed to be and deep down i think we all know we're in a better place from a personal perspective.

I think the lingering pain, or the cloud as you so aptly put it, may be regret. Regret that we may not be able to get to an optimal outcome for ourselves, or kids, and our Ws. Now that we understand what has happened, as well as the small things that can be done by our Ws to fix it, it's hard (for me at least) to not feel down that W may not be willing to make changes on her end. That said, i also think there's a realization with us that we will be fine, and because we are fine, we are very prepared to help buffer our kids from whatever outcome happens.

To me the dulling of the pain is coming from us being better prepared to handle this. A nice little boost of confidence that while we don't want this, we are ready for it. You are a rock FG, and I believe you to be the most prepared of us all. I know you'll be good.

A divorce is likely going to lead to losing our house. My little one loves the house and wants to live here forever.

This i am very sorry for my friend. Best we can do is create a new and stable home for the kids. Give them something stable to generate new and awesome memories of what home is.

Hang in there brother. I'm sorry you're having to deal with the uncertainty of things at the moment. Stay strong FG!