My first post: Hurting/scared

[Gordie]

***She texts me this morning on the way to her work to tell me how bad the roads are. I text back the regular validating stuff, "wow really? We'll be safe, drive slow."***

Validating is good.

***And before she left she was making a lot of noise in the kitchen (I was Asleep on the recliner, my son can only sleep on a recliner too right now cause he's recovering from collarbone surgery, I wake him up to take his pain meds or he'll wake up in major pain) and talking to herself. Like...so I'd hear, know wHat I mean? A nervous, kidlike kind of self-conscious thing. I've noticed she's been doing it a lot lately.***

Is this a new behavior? Was she indirectly communicating to you?

***Any way she works hard and does not usually call or text during the day. And she didn't today, until the end of the day around 5:45 she calls me. " hey what are y'all doing" I'm still here and still have A little more work to do for an eArly meeting tmrw morning, and on and on" I say ok, np, just text me when you're on your way home, roads are still real bad. And I'm the one that ends the convo.
She texts before she leaves as promised. She gets home and from the time she walks in the door she's talking to me, non stop! (Usually she just goes to her room and closes the door)
Comes and sits next to me on the couch, close to me, close than she's sat to me since BD. Even my S noticed!
Sits there and talks my ear off about work. I look her in the eye the whole time, validating.
She tells me she might a actually talk at the Hockey game, out on the ice (American Heart Assoc stuff). So we're gonna have to go.
Point is she was acting soooooo different. Happy, talkative, getting close to me, etc..
I would say I'd have to chalk it up to my upbeat attitude and that I'm giving her space. And also that I think she missed me while she was away. I'm not sure if tha but it feels that way. I also think she gets that I'm starting to not give a s**t anymore, that I'm uninterested in what she does.***

Have you read the pursuit and distance threads? I'm not sure if it was in your original homework, but you can find it on the MLC threads. Remember you can only control you and detachment is not letting her closeness or distance affect you. You have no idea what is going on in her head (or her feelings towards you or other men), so you should expect it to change day to day or even hour to hour: coming close, creating distance, etc. Enjoy the closeness, but don't let the distance bother you.

***Only time will tell. I'm gonna stay on the path. Keep bobbing and weaving. See if I can make her hit nothing but air when she tries to throw a punch (metaphorically speaking of course). I know it's nothing really, that she's still on that roller coaster.
But it was a good day for me.***

Sounds like you are doing well. Have you gotten the books and started coming up with your seven step plan, including near term goals?