I am very sorry to read that he has actually filed for the D. As for the things he's saying about you...I know it's hard, but ignore them. Had he thought all of this stuff about you, he should have been speaking up earlier in the marriage and certainly not at this time. He doesn't hate you...he hates himself and those ugly things he's saying are projections on to you about how he feels about himself. He needs a justification for divorcing you and you know what? He can't find one, so he's making this stuff up to make himself feel better for what he's doing to you.
My xh told me that he said some pretty ugly things about me because it was the only way he could justify leaving and divorcing me. The things he said were really about how he felt about himself and he wanted me to hear them so that I would hate him. He needed for me to hate him in order for him to continue to do what he was doing. He said that because I was kind and didn't tar and feather him w/family and friends just made him feel more guilty for what he was doing. He couldn't stand me not saying nasty things about him. It's them...not us.
Continue to concentrate on the kids and getting a good financial arrangement in place. Also, if you want to remain in this forum, you most certainly can. Nothing says you need to pop over to the Surviving the Big D forum unless you want to.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
