W told me she'd have me served by mail, if/when she is to do it. So now my heart no longer starts to pound each time my office phone rings. Instead I go to our home mailbox every day, looking for certified mail from my wife. Comical, since we're at the same address.
I shouldn't mind-read, but I surmise she's just trying to get up the courage to pull the final trigger. She's afraid of her financial future, and is feeling guilty mostly toward the kids. Toward me, at least outwardly, she's become cold again. No greetings, avoids eye contact, does mutter a reply if I greet her coming and going. On the other hand, she's not actively looking for a job. It would be consistent for her to plunge into the divorce w/o getting her ducks in a row. So her not getting a job doesn't tell me anything.
My DB coach thought my W isn't going to pull the trigger. I don't know. I'm tired. This has gone on for a very long time. With time, the prospect of losing my W hurts less. And the pain when I think about what it'll mean for the kids -- even that has lots its sharp edges. Now that pain just feels like a heavy, dense, black cloud in the middle of my chest. It no longer lacerates.
A divorce is likely going to lead to losing our house. My little one loves the house and wants to live here forever.
Hi fg you will be OK,remember your wife is in mlc,is not your wife its a tottaly different person,only interested in her self and her own needs,you just have to stand back and let her have her new life,and hope the woman you love comes back,not much you can do,only make her new life tuff for her if you can,in my eyes if they find ther new life is not so good,thers a better chance of them wanting the old life back,but if the new life is good why would they want to come back,but this can take years,
Me 56 w52 M30 years 4x adult kids W dad died/11 W wanted d 03/12 In-house sep 03/12 D 2014 I pushed W Left on 02/16 I pushed Pa on 07/16 Nc after 07/16 W Cakeating 15to16 Me doormat 12to16 Limbo 12to16
